Photo essay in Rotterdam (December 15, 2014 ~ December 18, 2014)

Luciana with a sperm-shaped structure

“It must be a sperm.”

December 16, 2014: Everything got magically better when I arrived in Netherlands. No, it had been already incomparably better ever since I was waiting for a ferry from Harwich (you won’t be able to find Harwich if you pronounce it as ‘Har-wich’) to Hook of Holland. I liked a misty rain, somewhere-between-grey-and-blue sky, grumpy clouds of Netherlands, and even myself having no idea how to take a train.

Long story short, I managed to go to a hostel and met an amazing person, Luciana.

I wrote down in my journal just like this: Her philosophy was stunning. I was so mesmerized that I didn’t want to forget about it. Therefore I decided to write it down. I would probably stupidly paraphrase her amazing words, but the gist shall remain.

I start something with enough acknowledgement that it probably wouldn’t get to the end. For example, when you are learning something, the biggest obstacle is people telling you something like “Oh, are you learning this? Then do you know how to do this?”, “That’s not how it is supposed to be.”, or “Why did you stop learning it? You were good at it.” However, you know, even though you are trying out ten different things, you’d end up doing one or two after years. So don’t be afraid of quitting. When people ask me why, I simply answer: “Because I don’t want it anymore.” I’m the one who wanted, started, learned it, and I enjoyed as much as I wanted- that’s enough for me. I don’t need to linger on it to meet others’ expextation.

Of course I think I’m very young. People will live more than 150 years thanks to medical innovations or whatever. If that’s the case, 80-year-old is nothing. It’s just a middle stage of life! When I was young-I mean, really young-, I thought of people who are 40-year-old really really old. But as a person who is almost 40, I don’t see myself old at all. It will be the same when I become 50.

You  are indecisive and uncertain about your future not because you are young. It’s because you are open up to unlimited possibilities and opportunities in front of you that no one can dare to imagine. You don’t need to constrain yourself but be proud of yourself with a lot of potential.

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After spending three days with her in Rotterdam, I couldn’t fully enjoy the beauty of Amsterdam. I was all alone again.

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